Time
by LexzieRulz
Summary: There was always time, until there wasn't.


**TIME**

 _A.N- I wrote this awhile back, but never got around to publishing it. I was experimenting with a different writing style and this piece came about. I adore the TLOU fandom and JoelxTess relationship. I was clearing out my laptop and found this, tweaked it up, and here it is. I hope you enjoy!_

* * *

The autumn breeze gets colder everyday and the rations decrease everyday; it's the sure sign that the toughest season is approaching for everyone. You're lucky to be in the zone during the winter, at least they have some form of electricity in order to generate the heaters in the apartments. Pretty soon people will be forgoing a day of rations just to stay inside and try not to freeze. That is if there are any rations to be handed out that day. She's glad she's been stocking up, just in case. When you have enough ration cards to do so, why wouldn't you? People are willing to pay more now that liquor has been completely banned from the zone. Of course, the military has a god damn stock of whiskey at their quarters, but the majority of residents don't know that. They're glad to just take what they can get. Which, today, seems to be only one can of _something_ per ration card. She watches people walk away with disgust and sadness as they cradle their food for the evening. It doesn't surprise her that one of the soldiers calls, "That's it!", and starts to close the gate. It also doesn't surprise her that she can see a basket of cans resting beside a group of soldiers on the inside. They give out one per card, but will have three piece in honour of their hard work.

"Bullshit," she grumbles to herself. She can hear a displeased grunt from behind her, as well as another voice saying,

"Again? Fuck." She sighs and runs a hand through her messy hair. The man behind her is mumbling about how there has to be something better out there. The gate is closed now and one soldier is standing guard, ushering away residents. "Haven't ate in two days." She can hear a slight southern drawl in his tone. She glances over her shoulder to the man who seems to be more vocal about his displeasure than everyone else combined. His blonde hair is disheveled and hangs just above his chin. His partner, who she would guess is the man's older brother, is scowling, or perhaps that is his natural resting face. He's not showing any interest in the younger's vocal complaining. The blonde turns his attention to her and she curses to herself; last thing she wants to do is engage in meaningless small talk with a man who has nothing better to do than complain. "This happened yesterday too," he tells her.

"I wouldn't know," she shrugs, "wasn't in line yesterday."

"It's almost a waste of time. Look," he points to the soldiers behind the wall who are eating from multiple cans of goods, "they don't even try to hide it." She shrugs; not like she hasn't seen it before. The man turns back to his larger and darker-haired companion, "There has to be something better out there."

"There isn't," the partner grumbles, low and with a thicker accent. The spoiled beans waiting back at her apartment is now appealing to her and she begins to make her leave, but the blonde man states with a low and shaky breath,

"What about the Fireflies?"

"What about 'em?" She had heard that Marlene had been going full throttle in recruitment after the fall of the Pittsburg quarantine zone. Their symbols were everywhere, but talking about them freely, especially in front of the military, was dangerous. Perhaps even more dangerous than her own smuggling. She would at least get a warning before getting shot. The blonde man sensed her pause and asked,

"Do you know them?"

"Wouldn't exactly say so." That wasn't a complete lie. She managed to get some ammunition from Marlene in exchange for smuggling out some of her recruits using her underground tunnel. The Firefly light didn't tempt her. The man sighed and held his hand out to her. She cocked her eyebrows but shook it anyway.

"Tommy." She nodded absently.

"Tess," she replied. Tommy glared up at his brother, once she got a closer look at them the relation was undeniable, but the man didn't make any acknowledgment. Tommy sighed,

"That's Joel." She didn't care all too much who they were. "No point in staying here, we might as well head back. At least this place has running water, right?" She took that as her cue to leave. It was about damn time, her stomach was aching for food. She had skipped out on eating yesterday after her run. She wondered why Tommy even bothered with introductions, she doubted they would see each other at another **time**.

* * *

"Pay up," Joel smirked. Tommy sighed as he counted his money, cursing _Park Lane_. The _Monopoly_ board was in bent up shape, but it was usable. She filled up her glass and then proceeded to fill up Joel's glass of rye.

"You wouldn't even own _Park Lane_ if Tess hadn't given you that pass when you landed on _Bond Street_."

"Hey, it was a fair deal."

"Damn straight," she agreed as she handed Joel his once again filled glass. "I don't have to pay when I land on that damn railroad." Which she happened to land on every time she went around the board.

"I'm starting to feel like there is coalition going on here." Joel glanced over at her and raised his right brow. She shrugged in reply. Joel rolled and smugly landed on his own piece of real estate, much to Tommy's disdain, and proceeded to take a celebratory drink; although he would drink to anything or nothing at all. "Hey, thanks for the drink, Tess." Tommy half-heartedly glared at her.

"You don't drink this early." She took another sip of hers. It was before noon, and they were heading out today, but to hell with it; they had a decent breakfast and could handle it.

"Just roll," Tommy shook his head, "And land on _Old Kent Road_ while you're at it." Tommy's only decent piece of property. She managed to land on that damn railroad again.

"Damn it," Tommy mumbled.

"We should get going," Joel looked over at her.

"Yeah." Bill's town would take at least half the day to get there, and it would take even longer in the town trying to maneuver Bill's security. Bill may even be too stunned to see her with a partner to do business right away. "Bill likes being on schedule."

"Bill?" Tommy asked.

"Trading partner," she answered as she downed the last of her drink, "he's…different. Paranoid." Joel looked at her expectantly, but she shook her head. She would explain Bill along the way.

"In that case," Tommy started to move the board game over, "we will have to finish this," the board tipped over the table and all the pieces fell to the floor, "another **time**."

* * *

The little pills were beginning to give her a headache. She had been sorting them for at least three hours now because Bill had tossed them all into one big bag. She would be sure to show her _appreciation_ to him next time they meet. Tommy and Joel were sitting solemnly on the couch. Joel had the entire whiskey bottle with him. She felt the overwhelming urge to leave and finish up tomorrow, but the oxycontin was promised to be delivered tomorrow to Mark. That man was going to have serious withdrawal when they aren't able to get any more for him, but he paid a good amount of ration cards so she put him on her priority list. She glanced over to the brothers and the urge to leave once again elevated. Joel had already downed half the bottle and Tommy stared blankly ahead. Tommy being quiet spoke thousands. Joel was usually quiet, but it was different this time. It was as if the world had stopped for the both of them. She pulled out her notepad to check the list of buyers for the goods. She stopped short when she saw the date. Tomorrow's exchange day was September 14th. Today was the 13th. She put the notepad back down and rubbed her eyes. Fuck. 10 years. Nobody was celebrating this 10 year anniversary. Between meeting Bill and sorting through all the shit she had forgot what the days were. She closed the lid on bottle that she would trade with Mark. She could hear soft muffling noises behind her. She dared to look over and saw Tommy with his head in his hands. Joel had finished the bottle and was grabbing a new one from the cupboard. She knew something worser than awful had happened to them on this day. She didn't know exactly what, but she had an idea. She didn't lose her brothers until a few years after the initial outbreak. Joel and Tommy must have felt loss early on. She's known them for two years now, but this is the first time she has actually seen them distraught. Joel had now retreated back to the couch and had begun to drink once again. She felt like a ghost in a haunted room. The remaining pills beckoned to her and she was more than obliged to finish her task and then leave. She felt that leaving the men alone would be what was best. For all of them. She wasn't exactly the best source of comfort to people any more. There wasn't many pills left, it should only take her a few minutes if her eyes didn't betray her. A wretched sob escaped Tommy, and despite her better instinct she snapped her eyes over to him. His eyes were downcast, staring at Joel's fingers rubbing his watch. His broken watch. The younger man got up and mumbled, "I'm sorry", before rushing out of the apartment. Her dark eyes landed on Joel. The man was absently stroking his watch and now he was staring blankly at the object. She doesn't think she has ever seen someone look so shattered. She resolves herself back to silence and work. The deafening silence of the apartment will stick with her for quite some **time**.

* * *

She can feel Joel's anger radiate off his skin. She's pretty pissed too. They should have known it would be an ambush; people aren't that nice anymore. He hovers protectively beside her behind the brick wall that they decided to use as cover. She looks up at him, brown orbs trying to relay a message to hazel ones, and then peeks around the edge. Nothing. She looks back over at him and he begins to recede away from the wall. It sometimes scares her how in synch they are without words being said. Other times she is damn grateful because silence is the only thing that has kept them alive from the hordes. Most of the time she tries not to think about it because thinking would cause implications, and that is the last thing they need on a routine run. Joel takes one more look about before nodding to her, and then they retreat back the way they came. The worst part is that the journey back is mostly open; no room for cover if the shit heads they ran into decide to follow them. It's times like these that she's actually thankful that they have a reliable contact with Bill. She pats Joel's shoulder,

"Gotta take the long way 'round, just in case."

"Yeah," he grumbles. He grabs her shoulder and turns her back to him. He unzips her backpack and pulls out the water bottle, takes a swig, and offers it to her. She shakes her head and he tosses it back in the bag. "We're going to have to start venturing deeper into the city, Tess."

"I know." The trips are going to become harder and less often. They will have to raise ration card exchanges. She sees Joel's expression before she actually feels the impact: surprise, anger, concern, and then a mixture of all three.

"Fuck," they say in unison; hers in pain and his in vex. Joel's gun is off before she can even look behind her to see which one of the two fuckers shot her. The commotion behind her is an afterthought as she drops her backpack to the ground to get a cloth. Joel is starting to crouch beside her but she stops him,

"How far away are they?"

"Not far."

"Check their bags." She knows there dead; Joel wouldn't let them walk away after that.

"Sec," he mumbles as he takes the cloth from her, "Let's see." His rough fingers push the flimsy fabric back so he can get a better look. His brow furrows and then relaxes. "Went clean through." He wraps the cloth to the best of his ability.

"Good, at least we know they have decent weapons on them then." He raises his eyebrows at her but says nothing. He wraps his arm around her and helps her to standing. "It's fine. You said so yourself."

"Said it was clean, not fine."

"Close enough."

"That was fuckin' close." He is now facing her fully. He has that look on his face; the worried conflicted look. She knows the conversation that will happen shouldn't happen here. Not when she needs to get properly sewed up, and definitely not when they have a journey back to the apartment. She decides to end it before it can begin,

"Won't happen next **time**."

* * *

She had to admit that today was a good day. The ration cards in her back pocket would keep them fed for a month. She knew the loot that she and Joel had brought back from Bill was good, but it was damn good. People really ache for a fix during the colder season. She practically has a skip in her step as she approaches the apartment door. The smashing sound echoes through the tiny corridor and she eyes the door with trepidation. "I don't ever want to see your god damned face again!" The door opens and slams in front of her. Tommy's scowl is apparent on his reddened face. "Same goes for you," he spits in her face. She takes a step back and stares him down in that peculiar way she does. Tommy looks down and swears, "Fuck."

"The fuck you doing, Tommy?" The bag he's carrying weighs his left arm down. She already knows where he's going: The Fireflies.

"Tess."

"Your leaving? After that?" She motions to the apartment. She only caught the end, but it was enough to tell her exactly what was going on in there.

"I can't stay here. The Fireflies, they're the best chance." He lifts the bag up on his shoulder. "I can't stay with _him._ _"_

"He's your brother."

"It's different…We're different. We don't need each other anymore." He wouldn't look at her, just downcast. He would never know that his words resonated with her on a personal level. A level that she tried her best to fight against. "It'll be fine. I'll have the Fireflies, he'll have you. It'll be fine." His eyes finally met hers, "It's better this way." She didn't know if he was trying to convince her or himself. He brushed past her and made his way down the hallway. Her hazel eyes stared at his back until he turned the corner. She sighed and rested her forehead against the door frame. Today was a bad day. She knew Joel would have opened up the last bottle of whiskey by now, and he would be intolerable. It wouldn't be wise to go in now; Joel needs to brood, it's who he is. It would be best to give him some alone **time**.

* * *

The damn window won't close again. The Boston winter seeps through the slight crack and sends shivers down her arms. Try as she will, the damn window won't close. She crawls back into the bed, careful not to wake Joel up. She looks down at him and sighs. The one blanket they have is draped over him and he slightly shaking, and snoring. At least he is sleeping. She grabs the list off of the nightstand beside her. Jackie, the nurse down the hall gave it to her earlier that day. The list mostly contains drugs, but there is a request for an IV bag. The chances of finding most of the drugs are slim, let alone an IV bag. She could ask Bill next time she sees him if he could keep an eye out for one. However, that would mean actually talking to the guy, and they aren't exactly on speaking terms at the moment. Bill really screwed them over, and almost got Joel killed, with his latest "trap". She can still recall Bill's stuttering of an apology as they worked together to remove the nails from Joel's skin. The man is lucky that Joel didn't contract Tetanus, or she would have made sure he never could make any more "traps". There were other people that they could work with. Although people probably didn't want to work with them. Finding someone you could trust was an increasing rarity. She tossed the list back on the table; Jackie would get whatever they could find. Her eyes trail over Joel's scarred body, focuses on his heavy breathing, and then falls upon sleeping face. This is the only time she may ever see contentment on his features. Even in sleep that is a rarity. Most nights are restless and he is usually out on the couch by the time she wakes up. Most of the time she doesn't care. The other times she brushes it off because it shouldn't bother her. Sometimes she wonders if he feels the same. The winter wind blows again and she hisses instinctively. That damn window. She drags herself into the kitchen and opens the last bottle of _Jack Daniels_ that they have. She mentally tells herself to get Joel to fix the window at some later **time**.

* * *

"Holy Shit. She's infected." Her eyes fell to the ground as the young girl verbally stated the truth that she had been hiding: she was infected. It sucked hearing it out loud. What was worse was Joel's expression; a mixture of disbelief, confusion, and shock. She forced herself to look back at him,

"Joel,"

"Let me see it."

"I didn't mean for this-"

"Show it to me." Joel's voice was rough, demanding, but she could hear the worry, the fear, that simmered beneath the gruff. She pulled back the shoulder of her shirt roughly, and hated the way Joel's face deflated at the sight of the red, tearing flesh. "Oh, Christ."

"Oops, right?" It burned. Her entire side ached and she felt like her head would explode. She marched over to Ellie, "Give me your arm." She pulled back the sleeve on the young teenager, "This was three weeks. I was bitten an hour ago and it is already worse. This is fucking real, Joel." She faced her partner, "You've got to get this girl to Tommy's. He used to run with this crew, he'll know where to go."

"No, no, no, that was your crusade. I am not doing that."

"Yes you are." She knew his wall was up. She knew about Sarah and she saw the way Joel looked at Ellie. It wasn't disdain and hate like the young girl believed. She knew Joel was scared but wouldn't admit it. She knew if she asked him, he would do it. "Look, there's enough here that you have to feel some sort of obligation to me. So you get her to Tommy's." His eyes flicked away from her and he stepped back.

"Shit." She looked behind her,

"Oh." The military trucks were parking outside the capital building, earlier than they had anticipated them finally showing up to the Firefly meeting spot. "They're here."

"Dammit." She knew what she had to do now.

"I can buy you some time, but you have to run."

"What? You want us to just leave you here?" Ellie's voice was exasperated, it was as if she had never heard such a request before.

"Yes."

"There is no way that-"

"I will not turn into one of those things," she interrupted Joel. She moved closer to him, looked him in the eye. "Come on. Make this easy for me."

"I can fight-"

"No, just go!" Her heart was heavy as she pushed him away. She had to be the one to push away or else he wouldn't go. She knew Joel, often times better than he knew himself, and she knew she had to make the move; she had to be the strong one here this time. "Just fucking go." The resolution in his eyes settled it. There would be no next **time**.


End file.
